Holiday in HK: Eating Sh★t at Modern Toilet
Food and feces should never be mentioned in one sentence, much less seen in one place. Yet Modern Toilet brings them together like a bad pun.
“Leave me in piss.”
Modern Toilet is a restaurant designed to look like a toilet. Or maybe it’s a toilet designed to work as a restaurant. While people come here to eat, the fixtures seem to want you to do the opposite thing. It can be disconcerting.
We had to sit on toilet bowls just like all the guests. If you have toilet phobia, you can come here to conquer your fear.
Make sure to close the lid so you won’t be tempted to waste your food.
There, more comfortable.
The tables are made of refashioned ceramic sinks, and instead of the usual napkins, there’s a roll of toilet paper on a tissue holder mounted on the wall behind every table.
While everything looks like crap, Modern Toilet smells delicious.
There seems to be a lack of dog-eared magazines that complete every toilet experience, but the menu is a good substitute.
What does one expect to eat in Modern Toilet? Call it what you want: manure, stool, poop, crap, shit – it is served to you in all shapes and sizes, from hardly digested to diarrheal.
Hardly digested vegetables on toilet bowl, yummy.
Joey opted for a Bathtub Gratin Set.
Look, it’s Duende-sized! We asked for a clean bathtub to put Duende in but the waitress said no, what a killjoy. This is Hong Kong, after all, where only smiles never go on sale.
(I will not expect any restaurant crew here to sing me a happy birthday song.)
Rey’s iced tea aptly came in a urinal.
And for dessert, we ordered Diarrhea with Dried Droppings!
Wow, that is one huge pile of –
“Let’s eat shit!” bellowed Nat, our friend and tour guide. This was her idea.
Upon closer inspection, it’s really just shaved ice heaped into a miniature squat toilet, drizzled with chocolate syrup, topped with chocolate ice cream, and sprinkled with choco balls and biscuits. The chocolate turd on the side is a cute touch.
After a several minutes of digging into this monster, we were pooped.
Joey’s caffe latte came in a toilet bowl, prompting her to say, “Did you notice that after you drink coffee, your urine smells like coffee?”
I did not check if there’s a toilet inside Modern Toilet. I should’ve, just to see if it looks like a restaurant. But why bother going there if there’s already a urinal on the table?
“Rey, please. Let’s not compare sizes.”
“So Nat, does it… taste like coffee?”
Modern Toilet is located in MPM mall, opposite the glitzy Lang Ham Place in Portland Street, Mongkok. The lines to the restaurant are always long. We finally got ourselves a table on our second attempt, a Sunday.
Many thanks to Nat for showing us the funkier side of Hong Kong! See you again soon!
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April 26th, 2010 - 00:11
Oh god, it’s a BJD-sized bathroom set… only that it’s used for eating XD I love it! I’ve always wanted to eat there!
April 26th, 2010 - 02:24
BJD-sized bathroom set, alright. That makes me wonder: since we eat only fake food, does that mean we should have fake poop?
You should definitely eat there the next time you go to HK. It’s inside a trendy mall with shops I’m sure you’ll like!
April 26th, 2010 - 01:39
Haha, I love the “Let’s not compare sizes” reprimand from Uno. How were people’s reactions? I still can’t believe the waitress said no. How could she resist Duende?!
April 26th, 2010 - 02:29
The people were nonplussed. In fact, they all looked quite serious as they ate from toilet bowls.
Hong Kong people are not very famous for their sense of humor.
April 30th, 2010 - 11:28
I’m sorry to hear that… Hopefully there’s only a handful of those. But you guys seem to be enjoying yourselves anyway. That’s the spirit!
May 30th, 2010 - 20:08
They’re not the friendliest people in the world, really, but we can’t let them spoil the good times!
April 26th, 2010 - 05:37
That is SO COOL! I want to eat there. XD
April 26th, 2010 - 23:28
The food is okay, but the idea behind it is remarkable!
April 26th, 2010 - 08:51
very unique. i could not believe that there such restaurant as that!
April 26th, 2010 - 23:30
The above photographs prove such a restaurant exists!
April 26th, 2010 - 10:44
Hmm… was there a BLD-sized bathtub anywhere? :O
April 26th, 2010 - 10:45
^BJD-sized. Sorry. ^^;
April 26th, 2010 - 10:48
Uh, like for SD’s?
April 27th, 2010 - 00:01
I’m sure there’s an SD-sized bathtub somewhere in Hong Kong, but the one we saw at Modern Toilet is Yo-SD sized. And it came with seafood gratin.
April 26th, 2010 - 13:50
That…is awesomely creepy. ^^
But it looks like so much fun!
April 27th, 2010 - 00:49
Yes, coming to eat in a toilet is rather awkward.
April 26th, 2010 - 15:35
That is one of the most unusual restaurants I’ve ever seen! And with the food and drinks served in toilet bowls? It looks so disturbingly…….delicious. X3X3X3
April 27th, 2010 - 00:53
Deliciously crappy.
April 26th, 2010 - 17:48
Duende is so cute!!!! hmm…. she looks like….. er.. Yo-sd Joey!!! Oh Uno you still look awesome!!! All the foods looks yummy but disturbing….
April 27th, 2010 - 01:12
You’re not the first to say she’s a Yo-SD Joey. Maybe that’s the reason why Joey takes Duende with her everywhere she goes!
Well, all the food items look disturbingly like crap – especially if you’re a messy eater.
April 28th, 2010 - 23:43
Ahahaha so much awesome. <3 Still can't get over Duende's cuteness.
May 2nd, 2010 - 17:20
That she’s dwarfed by practically everything makes her even cuter. ❤
May 9th, 2010 - 13:51
OMG this is just…so wrong…and Zetto would probably go all “Beavis and Butt-Head” if we went there. I would be so grossed out I wouldn’t be able to eat any of the food, and Zetto would be laughing too hard TO eat.
Must remember not to visit this restaurant when and if Z. goes on tour with his band to HK.
May 30th, 2010 - 20:09
Party pooper!
May 16th, 2010 - 00:15
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
I WANT TO GO THERE. NEXT TIME I VISIT MONGKOK.
Had I known it was there I would have eaten there after all than shopping. XD
Thanks!
May 30th, 2010 - 20:11
You’re always welcome. Here and at the Modern Toilet.
May 30th, 2010 - 07:21
*cracks up*
Toilet humor.
I really wish I could’ve seen this place when I was there.
Uno, your curiosity about the bathroom looking like a restaurant made me laugh out loud, at 7 in the morning.
Looking forward to more adventures. <3
May 30th, 2010 - 20:19
You didn’t go there? Oh, poop.
Here’s to more discoveries and new adventures!